hmph

Long handwritten note deep in your pocket
Words, how little they mean when you're a little too late
I stood right by the tracks, your face in a locket
Good girls, hopeful they'll be and lonely will wait

We had a beautiful magic love there
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

In dreams I meet you in warm conversation
We both wake in lonely beds different cities
And time is taking its sweet time erasing you
And you've got your demons, and, darling, they all look like me

'Cause we had a beautiful magic love there
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting
Silence, this train runs off its tracks
Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?
Hang up, give up, for the life of us we can't get back

A beautiful magic love there
What a sad beautiful tragic, beautiful tragic, beautiful

What we had ‒ a beautiful magic love there
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

We had a beautiful magic love there
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

Looking Back

Well, 2012 is almost at it's end. Thank God!

This year was a very bitter sweet year, I'd say more bitter than sweet but lets see the cup half full here.

The bitter: 2012 was one of the hardest years of my life. Love lost, moving in with my mom, changes at school, friendships lost, financial struggles.

The sweet: I began to find out who Lauren REALLY is. Met my best friend in the whole world (pretty sure I wouldn't have survived this year without), found a love for kickboxing that lost me 15 pounds (more to come!) and most importantly learned that I am a strong child of God and HE will never give me more than I can handle.

Looking back on the year I can honestly say I am more happy to ring a new one in than ever. However, without this past year I would not be the person I am today, or the person I will be weeks, months or even years from now.

It took me a VERY long time to see things this way but, I couldn't agree more with the quote above. Here are a few others that sum up some of the things I've learned this year.

 

 

 

 

SO I am thankful for the trials and the blessings of this year. One of my resolutions for the new year is no looking back focus on what is ahead. What's done is done and it is what it is. Accept it, embrace it and be thankful for how it will mold me for better days. 

Hopefully 2013 will be a year of more blogging? Thank you for reading and HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

back to school....

It's almost that time, sad day? Naw, I am happy/excited...it's always a bitter sweet thing going back and getting busy. I am definitely anxious about some things... Like seeing X... but I am trying to keep a positive attitude about things and just keep my focus on what is important. The kids, Family, Friends, Life!

Anyway, This year I am wanting to go for a "new look".  I feel like a new person, so why not look it!! -I have lost 14 pounds (hopefully have 6 more I can shed before school starts to make it an even 20!!) --I am about to start the 17 day diet with some girlfriends from school, hopefully that'll give me a kick start! =)
-I emotionally chopped my hair off after the break up... part of me wishes I hadn't- miss the long hair, but itll grow back & doesn't look awful.... so I will suck it up!
- I am going to attempt to pull off the ombre look..... see below... less blonde/more carmel.

- I want new glasses! These are inspired by my new fashion icon and new FAV show, New Girl.

-have to have a super cute B2S outfit...right?!

 


Alright, that's all I've got for now! More soon, hopefully! =)

In Love Alone.

Youve been doing fine

youre getting on with life

getting on with life

makign sure that i cant get inside your mind

bc nothing can be gain with living inside yesterday

Im falling apart

im lying in the dark

and wondering where to start

to mend a broken heart 

cause everything was lost

the day you went away.

now theres nothing left thats real

ive forgotten how to feel

when im outside of your arms

bc youre all ive ever known

i should be moving on

im remaining strong

its like your happy on your own

guess ill be in love alone.

theres nobody to blame

if love is just a game 

and you refuse to play

i guess ill be ok

bc life will still go on 

even when youre gone

but youre everything to me

you change the way i breathe

you all that i can see

and if its meant to be

this love that i keep

will bring you back to me. 

now theres nothing left thats real

ive forgotten how to feel

when im outside of your arms

bc youre all ive ever known

i should be moving on

im remaining strong

its like your happy on your own

guess ill be in love alone.

im sorry if i gave too much

bc you told me from the start

that you didnt plan

to fall in love

now theres nothing left thats real

ive forgotten how to feel

when im outside of your arms

bc youre all ive ever known

i should be moving on

im remaining strong

its like your happy on your own

guess ill be in love alone.

blessings

I have had a really really hard past 2 days. :(

So why am I titling this blog "blessings"? --- because through the storms that have literally consumed my life the past 3 months I have learned 2 thinks.
1. I am blessed with WONDERFUL friendships. LOTs of em too. I cannot express how thankful I am for them because I would not be keeping my head above water right now without them and their words, ears and love. :)
2. I do not have room in my life for shady mc shadertons in my life. I just don't.

pretty black and white there for ya.

You always hear this when you're in rough parts of life that it's going to make you stronger, a better person... well I hope so, and I am beginning to see it already. I am trying to stay focused and look forward to the amazing & wonderful plans God has for my life. :)

Boundries...

I have learned that I am not good at setting these, or enforcing them either...
This summer has definitely been one full of learning and growth.
However, I have a long way to go still.

Steph and I went to boxing today.
I learned 2 things:
a.) their gear is S-T-I-N-K-Y!
b.) boxing (this class is like boot camp/circuit training/boxing on crack) is INTENSE!

that is all. for now. :)

39th day of summer...

AND the 4th of July.. 

I spent at my bestest's pool- drinking, eating & playing...

playing what?

just a friendly game o beer pong. in the pool. on a surf board. 

Yup- we are geniuses. 

Hope you had a wonderful 4th with your loved ones, I know I sure did. 

Very Thankful.