Manchester United Soccer Player=Steph

Last weekend was the best weekend I have had in a while! Things were starting to really pull themselves together in my life! I have been working out like a manaic lately, and really felt great about myself Saturday night! Steph and I went out for our friend Cortnie's birthday. Before we made it to dinner we stopped and bought me some pretty rad shoes... see below..

Stephanie refers to them as my "defense mechanism"... however, I am pretty sure I only defended myself agains...myself.. those suckers hurt!

We had dinner at this yummy little mexican restaurant and then we went dancing at Glass Cactus at the Gaylord Texan. EPIC NIGHT... I will just say that we saw the sun came up... hahaha :) Through the corse of the night we saw women grab a bass players junk, repeatedly... and were a little disgusted by this. We met Irish boys. Steph revealed that she is secretly british and plays soccer for manchester united. All - in - All---- great night! :) 

Me & Steph at Glass Cactus. :) 

In other news--- I found and apartment! Move in date is in August and I am very excited about it! :) Went to celebrate this decision with my sweet friends Jenna and Laura only to get home and feel like death. Fever, chills, sweats all hit out of no where. Went to the doctor on Tuesday to find out I have strep! ok... 1.)Who gets strep during the summer 2.) why am i getting strep when I am not even working or at school right now!!! OBNOXIOUS! Overall, I am pretty much back to normal, my antibiotics worked wonders... my energy level is just non existent. 

Well it's Thursday and I have no real plans for the weekend-- hoping something fun pops up here soon!! :) 

dealing... ish....

I have been working out at least twice a day lately-- its been a sort of therapy to me? Instead of being sad I work out- it's my thing.... which I guess is WAY better than.... eating shit? right?!

I am very angry about a lot of things in my life. I am dealing... by working out. Better than no dealing, right? 

I have been watching biggest loser for encouragement....  this is a quote i heard last night....

"Why do you think God built the emotion of crying in you? for fun? no. it takes strength to show vulnerability. only strong people can accept when their hurting. your emotions exist for a reason."- Jillian (who is currently kicking my ass daily)

Trying to accept and move on because he clearly has. 

This is exactly how i feel....

‎"Maybe you're only alloted a certain amount of tears per man; and I've used mine up. "-carrie bradshaw

sigh.

and the truth is...

I miss you.

decisions...

I can't make em it seems!!! It's a tad bit on the annoying side. From dog collars, to apartments, to what bar to go to..... I am indecisive. The only decision I seem to be able to make is what workout to do today. (which, i might add- been doing 2-a-days!!! On my way to my goal!) Anyway, I am not sure if this problem I am dealing with has anything to do with the obvious issue in my life... or what...but I am OVER it. Hopefully my dear friend "SASHA" (that was for you steph) will have something to say about this tomorrow. I'm getting to the point of just being exhausted by the entire thing.

Luckily I am blessed with WONDERFUL, AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL friends that love me at my highs/lows, the good/bad, the beautiful/ugly days... I am blessed. I have friends that get pissed for me, cry for me, and want to punch punching bags with me. In so many ways I am truly blessed, and sometimes it's hard to focus on those blessings...it's something I need to work on... but man- I am thankful. I don't think there are really words I can write or ways to express how appreciative I am for these people in my life so if you're reading this-- you know who you are & I love you.

Anyway, It's pretty funny the way God plans things. I visit Sasha tomorrow. The last day of the lease is tomorrow. I've had a rough week... and tomorrow I am assuming may be tough as well. Ironic to say the least. So, if you read this & pray-- include me... if you read this & don't -- send good/positive thoughts my way.

I will leave this post with a song that a dear friend, Mother figure in my life, gave me a few days after my world broke... I think I need to listen to this a little more often & find my way back to me.

apartment hunting...

ohhh boy, let me tell you! This is turning out to be a nightmare!

a. apartment prices have increase significantly since I last searched for one for myself.
b. I blame John. (because it's an easy thing to blame these days.)

I found one i REALLY like, but wasn't set on because price. However, searching around the area today I have learned that it isn't as ridiculously priced as I believed.... I have determined that 2 years ago-ish (the last time i looked for 1 bedroom apartments) they were not this expensive. $700 range was not absurd... but BUDDY now, it is! :( So... here it is!

These cute, hip, urbany apartments are located in the quaint downtown Carrollton square right next to Dart (need I ever feel the urge to ride the train instead of drive downtown?). I think theyre really trying to develop the area, I have a good feeling! :) It's not far from work... JENNA.... uptown is only like 15 min, addison is close, trainings are close and 35 is literally in arms reach. (incase i want to touch it, or if you were wondering? haha)

Pros: Hip, urban feel, walk to restaurants, close to work, friends, family, reasonable drive downtown/addison, brand stinkin new, nature trails, covered parking, first month FREE.
Cons: small, in Carrollton, pricey (but everything is), trains (noise???)

Heres the floor plan I am looking at:

ANYHOO- for some reason I think I know what I want to do...however, I'm incredibly indecisive. So, PLEASE-- suggestions, comments, concerns are welcome! :)

going to get busy...

Ofcourse the day after I blog all about my tv/netflix watching....my mother comes into my room to tell me she loves me and I need to do something instead of watching tv. HAHAHA figures. Let me start by saying, I do no subconsciously drown myself in television to avoid dealing with the painful stuff going on in my life. (my therapist may disagree) I do it, at this moment in time, because it is free-- and I am poor since payday is a day away. Makes all the sense in the world, am I right? AND it's not ALL I've been doing... yesterday, maybe, but thats the only day I haven't let the house. :P

With that being said I have decided to take action on my "to-do" list as I had planned yesterday anyway! I am going to head to the gym here soon and afterwards I am going to go find my new home! I am not sure how I feel about this... it's bitter sweet I suppose. I think it will be good for me to live on my own & figure Lauren out again.

I also thought that maybe I would start "production" on this addition to my living room!

I figured I could pull this off... hahaha, guess well see! :) I LOVED it, and even more loved the hole with wine corks in the middle because I have a glass bowl full of em-- perf! 

Anyhoo--- Im off to the gym but am trying to be better with the blogging so I will share the adventures of apartment hunting later! 

summer is here!

Well, it's day 14 of summer (i think...) and I have done a whole lot of nothing! Ok... I take that back. I have spent time with my wonderful friends!! :) I have recently been going through some BIG life changes and have been trying to figure some things out... I finally feel like I have somewhat returned to the old Lauren, however, I have a long way to go still.

I decided to make a little to-do list for week-3 of summer! Maybe be a little more productive and not spend the majority of my time watching tv via netflix, hulu and abc.com. I guess I have been productive in the sense that I am all caught up on my tv! :)

**please note item #6 on the list--- I watched Thor tonight and have decided he, or his identical twin, will be my next boyfriend/rebound/healer of my heart.

Steph (my new WONDERFUL friend who has been beyond amazing to me with all the shit I have been dealing with) and I groupon-ed a boxing class. YES, that is right! We are taking 10 boxing classes (you better watch yo-self!) I am super pumped about it! She has definitely become my adventure seeking pal in life--- I consider her my little God send.

Apartment hunting is also on the list. I am currently living at my moms and going the slightest bit insane. I wanted to try and stay the summer and saaaave money but I am just not sure it will happen.  There are a few places on my list to check out so we will see what happens.

Quite honestly, I am not sure if anyone ever reads this blog or if it is my own personal venting space via the web but I apologize for it being forever since I have blogged either way!

Anyway, I must get back to my episode of Felicity! (Yes, you read that right...)